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This pleases me...immensely.
It’s exhilarating to be able to really cut loose on stage and throw caution off a freeway overpass for the sake of the audience’s pleasure. Not that kind of pleasure. There are no poles on the stage. Well, okay. There are four poles on the stage, but they’re way too big to wrap my legs around to slide down them in a manner that garners tips. There’s just no point in trying.
Our fantastic director, Becki, has a fabulous mind. Tonight, she choreographed our scene change. It involves a whistle and a bike. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.
Moving on!
I have two topics to discuss with you that affect all that is right and good on a global scale.
First, my hero, Ricky Gervais, is leading a campaign with the WSPA to bring about a ban on bullfighting in the Catalonia region of Spain. Please, take a moment to add your name to the petition and join this noble cause to end this cruel atrocity. Tradition and culture are not excuses for cruelty of any kind.
While you’re visiting the WSPA signing the petition, as you are doing right now, because you are my minion, and I have commanded you to it, toss a few bucks into the donation page. Look at your happy, loving, pet opossum--or cat, rabbit, mule, whatever--you would spend twenty-five bucks to keep him/her/it healthy and happy, wouldn’t you? You probably have, unless you buy cheap kibble. Tightwad. But your pet is already healthy and happy, right? So there you are with twenty-five dollars burning a hole in your pocket and no tragedy to avert. What to do...?
I have an idea! Send it to the WSPA! It would please me so. You like to please me, don’t you? Don't you?
Well, if not, you should do it to please a fellow earth-dweller in need. In turn, it will give you warm squibbly feelings, and everyone likes warm squibblies. Yes, you do.
Next topic!
Again, my hero, Ricky Gervais, has flexed his will, and I am bowing to it. A few days ago, he wrote:
“A Call To Arms.
I've had another one of my great ideas. Remember the poster campaign? Remember me trying to get Karl on TV?
OK, now listen carefully. I love the fact that Pilkophiles have been leaving random quotes and messages on You Tube. I like it for many reasons. I love it confusing people that went there to discuss Bruce Springsteen or God or something. I love it annoying the haters. But most of all I love the fact that it makes Karl uncomfortable.
Let's up the stakes. I want quotes and comments on every You Tube video, every iTunes product, every Amazon product and every blog in the universe.
And Twitter. Ah twitter... Go fucking mental. Introduce everyone to the world of the man with a head like a fucking orange. Make it the twatosphere, i.e. the space where people talk about a spherical headed twat.
It's in your hands...
Will he be working in B&Q in 5 years or ruling the world?”
I vote for ruling the world.
In an effort to help with this magnificent endeavor, I am obeying Ricky’s most recent order to see that the following pictures of Karl Pilkington and his feline lookalike are spread to every computer in the universe. Enjoy.
And now for a song!
And now for a less silly song! My internet at home is still kaput, so this tune was selected in honor of Dave, for letting me hijack his 'puter. ^_^
Tonight’s quote was found in a quest for a nugget of thought to pay proper tribute to the wonderful memories I’m collecting at rehearsals and the joy that Ricky and Karl (and Stephen) bring me on a daily basis. I don’t think I found what I was looking for, but this quote is dirty. And it pleases me.
“Laughter is an orgasm triggered by the intercourse of sense and nonsense.” ~Author Unknown
Ah, bliss. Now sign that petition! And start spreading the word of Karl! Now!
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